Our society today places a great deal of emphasis on beauty, particularly physical beauty. We are constantly bombarded with television commercials, billboards, magazine ads, etc that tell us "Try our product and you'll have perfect skin" or "Use our toothpaste and you'll have beautiful white teeth." I mean, how many commercials related to physical appearance and beauty do you see just in the hour you are watching your favorite television show? I haven't sat down and counted -- yet -- but I'm sure it's more than we may think.
Every day people around the world, men and women alike, are told they need to be a little skinnier, a little taller, a little shorter, have whiter teeth, longer or shorter hair, bigger or smaller boobs/muscles/butts. The question I have is, why? Why do I need to have bigger boobs to feel good about myself? Why do I have to wear contacts instead of glasses to look prettier? Why do I need to be taller, skinner, more revealing in my clothing, to be beautiful?
The correct answer is, I don't.
What? But Stephanie, how will you ever get a date if you aren't skinny? You want to get married, right? How will you ever find a boyfriend, much less a husband, if you don't have perfect hair, teeth, skin, and just an overall perfect body? How can you ever love yourself?
If you're wondering, yes, these questions have run through my mind hundreds, thousands of times in my life. Those days when I see my friends posting cute pictures of themselves with their boyfriends/girlfriends/husbands/wives/fiances on Facebook, when I read that yet another of my friends or family members will be bringing a new life into this world, and those days when a guy that I like chooses someone else, these thoughts run through my head:
I'm ugly. I'm too fat, too short, my clothes aren't right, my teeth aren't white enough, my smile is funny looking, my thighs too big, face too round, eyebrows too thick, eyes not big enough, lips too small or chapped. I'm just not pretty enough.
But do I stop there? Oh no, once I get on board the pity train I could go for miles.
I'm weird, I laugh to loud, my laugh is awful and annoying, I'm not smart enough, I am not a good enough writer, I'm and awful friend, sister, aunt, daughter, co-worker. I don't update my blog like I should, I don't say enough nice things to people, if I had been a better friend then (blank) wouldn't have done (blank) and ended up in the sad situation that they are in. I am not enough. I am alone because I am not enough.
I am worthless.
Ever happened to you? Still happen to you? I'm pretty sure everyone in this world has had or will have a moment, if not several, where circumstances in their lives lead them to these thoughts.Well guess what? I'm here to tell you, to tell everyone, that they're all lies. You are not worthless. You are not ugly.
You are BEAUTIFUL.
Kyla and Kayla |
Kyla and I met when we were about 11. We were in the same Ward and we lived just down the street from each other. Kyla is my best friend. She stood by me through so many trials it isn't even funny. She was there the night my mom died and did what she could to get the word out to my other friends so that they could support me as well. She was there for me even when we'd had a huge fight. She believes in me and I believe in her. Time and distance will never change that. She cares deeply for those around her and she will fight for them. Always.
Kayla and I met three years ago at college. She was the poor unsuspecting Freshman and I was the older, used-to-college-life student happy to make a new friend. She was so quiet, I honestly thought she didn't like me. Seriously, I was chattering away while we were walking to church that first Sunday and she just quietly nodded and gave a few responses. I really didn't know what to think. Well, I am proud to say I "broke" her within a week and we quickly became best friends. She is kindhearted (even if she doesn't think so), smart, and she loves the people closest to her. She's not one to be judgmental.
These are two of the most beautiful women I have ever met.
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Sarah |
She is among the beautiful women I know in my life.
Left to Right: Ty Lynn, Maddy, Amanda, Vanessa, Jennifer, Nessa, Me |
Jennifer is the oldest of us girls in the Featherstone clan. She is married with three beautiful children and a husband in the Army. She is one of the strongest women I know. I've watched as she has raised her children in a world less appealing than the one we grew up in. I've seen her strength as she supports her husband while he is away from home serving our country. I've seen her exercise faith in God as she faced the trials that life threw at her.
Nessa. She has been through more in her life than I think I could ever have the strength for. She has a determination that could put political leaders to shame. She fights for those she cares about, and she loves helping people. She has had her fair share of struggles, and I know she doubts her ability at times. But I also know, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that she is an incredible woman, and that she's going to move mountains someday.
Amanda is my baby sister (despite being taller than me...cursed genes...). She loves to laugh and while she can be silly, she can also be very serious and give some of the best advice I've ever had. She has an incredible amount of faith and I am always amazed at how easily it comes to her. She has had her moments, as all of us do, but she is strong and I admire her for that.
This is my sister Bethany.
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Bethany |
She and I went to school together pretty much our whole lives until we got to college! She was serving an LDS mission when our mom passed away. She had the strength and courage to stay in the field and see her mission through to the end. She is dedicated, hard working, caring, and very smart. She and her husband are expecting a baby this fall and I know she will make an amazing mom!
Ty Lynn, Vanessa, and Kara (unfortunately not featured in the picture above and not in any pictures I presently have...) are my sisters in law, but that doesn't change how amazing they are! Ty and Vanessa are amazing mothers with big hearts, and Kara has stuck with my brother James through a lot. I am grateful to have them all in my life!
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Maddy |
This is my older sister Maddy. She was born with downs syndrome. She is one of my absolute favorite people in the whole stinkin' world! She laughs easily, loves to tease, loves to give and get hugs, can always bring a smile to my face, and loves unconditionally. She is an angel, of that I have no doubt. She will not judge you because of what you do, how you look, or what you believe. She is a living example of te pure love of Christ in my life, and I am so grateful I have been blessed to call her my sister.
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Mom |
I want to add another beautiful woman to this list. My step mom, Betty. She and my dad have been married for almost two years, and I can honestly tell you she is wonderful. She is humble, loving, and caring. She is so willing to give love to her step children, even if she doesn't have to. She has taken care of my dad and my sisters when she didn't have to. And for that, I am grateful.
These women are beautiful.
These beautiful, incredible, amazing women I have shared with you today may not be the next Angelina Jolie or Beyonce, but they are beautiful. They are beautiful because of hearts, their spirits. The good that they put into the world and the love they share with those around them.
Finally...
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Me |
While my main focus was on women, guys, you are important too. You're just as special, just as precious, just as incredible. We are all important, special, precious, and of great worth. Nothing we do or say will ever diminish that worth.
We're all beautiful!!!