First of all, I want to let you know that I love you all and I am thinking about you. I know this can be very scary, especially for my readers in countries and areas where the virus seems most prevalent, for those who are in the high risk groups for this virus, and for those of you who are still feeling in the dark about all of this.
If you've read my blog before then you likely know that I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I believe in God and I believe that Jesus Christ is my eternal Savior. My faith is not always perfect. I have my doubts about whether or not I am worthy to be loved by such awesome and incredibly loving beings. I have my doubts about whether or not promises, thoughts, feelings about who I am as a daughter of God are in fact correct. But in spite of those doubts, in spite of those moments of weakness, I still believe in them, and deep down I know that they will always believe in and love me. It is my faith that has helped me get through my fears concerning COVID-19. Trust me, I have had some pretty big fears bubble up inside of me while during all of this.
Something that the majority of you do not now about me is that last June I was diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes. It was detected early enough that proper medication and some lifestyle changes/improvements have helped A LOT with managing it, which I am extremely grateful for, but it is something that is a part of my life and will likely continue to be a prevalent part of it (I'll have to post about the experience of finding out later).
The other day I was looking at the CDC's webpage regarding COVID-19, doing my part to educate myself on the virus, how it's spreading, etc. Guess what I learned? Among the elderly and immunocompromised, diabetics are also considered a high risk group for this virus.
Oh great, I thought to myself. Y'all get sick, stay away from me!
While the thought was light hearted and slightly made in jest, I have had to come to very real terms with the fact that COVID-19 is a bigger problem for me than I previously realized. If I catch it I could have a worse time of it than some of my family, friends, and colleagues (I guess all the sick days I've been accruing the past few years may come in handy).
In coming to terms with this realization I have found that leaning on my faith has been a saving grace for me. It isn't that I don't think I'll get it - pretty sure I will - it's that I know that if/when it happens, things will be okay for me. I may not know what "okay" is going to look like, and maybe there will be days/times when I don't think or realize that they are, or I may even forget. But right now, in this moment, I can rest in the knowledge that I will be okay.
That being said, I know who I am as a person, and I know that I can expect some moments of doubt and yes, even fear in the coming days and weeks. Honestly though, there's no point in me worrying about it. Yesterday I was talking with someone about COVID-19 and everything that is happening because of it, and at the end of our conversation she said, "Thank you for talking with me about it. You're so much more positive about it, and it's been really hard with all of the negativity."
If you are struggling with your fears, doubts, concerns about this virus, please don't be afraid to talk with someone you trust about your feelings. Seek out information about it and do what you can to help slow the spread. Lovingly educate those around you who may not have all of the information and do what you can to help comfort them in their own fears and worries.
Find something to laugh about. Whether it's something funny your kids said, a television show or movie or book that you love, or even some ridiculous cat meme or video. Find those little rays of joy and hold onto them for as long as you are able.
Sing, LOUDLY. It can be your favorite Taylor Swift song, something from your favorite heavy metal band that just speaks to your soul, a religious hymn, the theme song from your favorite Disney film (Into the Unknooooooooooown! 😉), or just a silly children's song (I've got plenty if you need some ideas). You don't have to sing it perfectly or know all of the words, just sing it with all your heart. Music is a universal language that has a magical way of reaching our soul, no matter who, where, or in what situation we are.
Turn to God. I know from my personal experience that He will comfort you if you bring yourself willingly to him. If you are not comfortable with that, or just have strong feelings against it, that's okay.
Please know that while I may not be able to help all of you directly, I will do what I can to help indirectly by doing my part to slow the spread, educating those around me, refusing to add to the fear and panic, and yes praying for you, because I know God has a greater power and reach than I do.
For information about the virus, please visit www.cdc.org (or your country's equivalent), or www.who.int. Please do not rely wholly on the news, social media, or the opinions of others.
If you need someone to talk to I am 100% available and willing to be your listening ear.
Stay safe and healthy everyone. I love you! 💕
Stephanie
