...I was looking at the groom."
My friends Connie and Nick were married yesterday. They've been together for 2 years, and while it wasn't an easy road, it was most assuredly worth it.
When Connie asked me to be a bridesmaid for her wedding I was thrilled. I've been asked to take part in a wedding party twice before, but both of those weddings didn't work out, so this was my very first time actually being part of one.
The ballroom where the wedding and reception were held was quite the venue. The outer walls were just windows, allowing the guests to look out at the tall buildings that were surrounding us. It also provided some great natural light for the majority of the party.
As a bridesmaid I was tasked with helping to decorate the trellis Nick and Connie would stand in front of as they were legally bound as husband and wife. It was a challenge--"perks" of being a short girl--but in the end it turned out quite beautiful.
The walk down the aisle was interesting. The groomsman I was paired with, one of Connie's younger brothers, was a little uncertain about how his feet were supposed to go. It was adorable.
Once we were all at the altar and ready for the bride, the officiator asked those in attendance to rise.
Connie looked like a young Audrey Hepburn, no joke. Her dress, completely made of silk, came just off her shoulders and was accented by a beautiful red sash. Her curled hair was beautifully pull up into a side bun by her sister, and her makeup had been professionally done just an hour before.
She was stunning. But while I love Connie, and it was wonderful to see her in all her glory on her wedding day, I quickly turned my attention to Nick.
In the movie 27 Dresses, James Marsden's character talks about how he likes to watch the groom, rather than the bride. He liked to see the look on the groom's face as his bride, the love of his life, came down the aisle towards him.
Until I had been to a few wedding ceremonies myself, I had never thought about it. We all like to focus on the bride because she's the one who makes the "grand entrance". But, the groom's face is priceless, and just as worthwhile.
The look on Nick's face as Connie walked towards him was pure gold. And I'm meaning that in the most true and honest way. I knew he loved her, but I didn't realize just how much until I saw it in his eyes yesterday. I'm crying a little right now just thinking about it.
Something you need to know about Connie: she doesn't cry. Sure, she gets sad, and she has her moments of pure joy, but she doesn't cry. In the 4 1/2 years I have known Connie, I have only ever seen her come close to tears once. Maybe one or two drops managed to escape,but it was never too big or noticeable.
Until yesterday, when she proclaimed publicly her love and devotion to Nick. As she came closer to the altar I looked over at her and saw the tears in her own eyes.This of course caused tears to fill up my own eyes, though I was determined not to let them get the better of me. However, just before Connie's dad shook Nick's hand and gave him his daughter I saw the tears filling Nick's eyes as well. That's when I knew I was doomed to be a crying mess.
The officiator proceeded with the ceremony, sharing Connie and Nick's love story with all in attendance. Then the couple shared their vows. I can't remember all of the words, but I remember how sincere and honest
they were. The promises they made and the commitments to each other and
to the future children they would have were genuine and meaningful.
Months ago, when we were window shopping for bridesmaid dresses, Connie told me, Kayla, and Sanna (one of the other bridesmaids) their proposal story. When she was finished telling it, she looked at us and said, "I love him."
"We know," we assured her.
"No, I really love him."
"Connie, we know," I said. Not in an annoyed way, but in the sincere way that you would tell someone you knew something was the absolute truth. It was evident to me in Connie's face, and in everything she does, that she loves Nick.
When Connie began her vows she only managed to get a few words out
before crying. That was it, I was gone. The tears I'd been trying to
ignore, to push back, began flowing freely down my cheeks, my mascara
running down with them. It was as if a rushing wind of knowledge and realization swept over me. I knew back when she'd told the proposal story that she loved Nick. Yesterday that knowledge was cemented into my mind.
The rest of the day was great. Pictures with the bride and groom were nice and fun--we did the whole groomsmen hold up the bride and bridesmaids hold up the groom photos--and the reception was awesome. It was a dance party, just like Nick and Connie wanted. And everyone enjoyed themselves. Or at least, I did, and I hope everyone else did, too.
Reflecting on yesterday's events, I admit that I am a little saddened that I have not had the pleasure of finding my special someone. Kayla and I figured out yesterday that by the end of this month six of the roommates we have lived with over the course of our college experience will be married. And then there's my additional 5 roommates from before Kayla and I lived together, racking up to a grand total of 11 out of 22 of the girls I have lived with. Half of my college roommates are married. That's a little..depressing, to say the least.
But watching Nick and Connie yesterday, seeing their love for each other, I am grateful. Grateful that they have each other and that they do truly love one another. Grateful that while it's true I am single, and sometimes it kind of sucks, at least I know I did not settle for less than the kind of love I deserve.
Congratulations to Connie and Nick. May your future be bright, full of many fond memories, and may your love continue to grow. I love you both!
Saturday, June 21, 2014
For My Dad
There's this song we used to sing when we were kids. It goes like this:
I'm so glad when Daddy comes home
Glad as I can be
Clap my hands and shout for joy
Then climb up on his knee
Put my arms around his neck
Hug him tight like this
Pat his cheeks
Then give him what?
A great. Big. KISS! *smooch*
No words could more perfectly describe my thoughts and feelings toward my dad as a child.
When I was younger my dad was a Custodian for one of the local school districts. He would leave for work before I came home from school and would come back after I had gone to bed. But sometimes, on those nights when we didn't have school the next day, our mom let us go with her to pick him up from work. If we were very lucky, we'd get there just before he was finished with all of his work and he'd let us walk around the building with him as he finished up. I loved it.
During the summer, when all of the kids were out of school, my dad got to work during the day and be home at night. That's when we had our fun. My favorite memory from that time was playing hide and seek in the dark.
I also remember going hiking and camping with my family. We visited so many places, it's hard to list them all. We never flew anywhere, always drove, and we never stayed in an RV. We liked to camp out in tents. Dad was never too old to sleep in the tents with us, or to go on a hike. Sometimes, he did the hiking better than I could.
I remember watching movies and T.V. shows with my dad. We don't have the same taste in films and literature, but we could always find something to enjoy together, like Star Wars, Star Trek, The Invisible Man, Knight Rider, and Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman.
I remember walking to church with my dad. He always held my mom's hand (which meant only one of us could hold his or her hand, since the sidewalk wasn't big enough for more than that). His arm was always around my mom while they sat together in church. He opened doors for her, treated her like a queen. His queen.
When my mom passed away, he was devastated. To those who were with him every day, it wasn't hard to see that his heart was truly broken, another testimony to me of just how much he loves her. When he married my step-mom, Betty, it was like he could finally get the peace he needed to regain the bits of his heart that were broken and lost. And even though Betty isn't my mom, and she isn't his first love, he still loves her. He treats her the same way as he treated my mom.
To this day, whenever my dad talks about my mom, I can still see the love he feels for her in his eyes. I have never doubted how much he loves her, because I have seen it.
My dad isn't perfect. I've had my arguments with him, particularly as I got older. But I have learned as I've grown up just how much I love him and how important he is to me. I have been able to see just how much he cares about me, too.
One night while I was in college I couldn't sleep. I'd had my heart ripped out over a boy, and I was completely devastated. It was about 2 or 3 in the morning when I finally called my dad. When I told him what had happened his response surprised me.
"I knew there was a reason I couldn't sleep," he said.
My dad, from 200 miles away, had known that I needed him. While he didn't know the details of what was going on, he knew there was something wrong. Not only that, but the thing keeping me up that night, was keeping him up as well.
I have learned so much from my dad. I've learned that most repairs on a house you can do yourself. If you don't know how, you can learn. It's okay to try and fix it yourself. But it's also okay to have someone else do it.
I've learned the importance of paying tithing and how it can bless your life in all things, not just financially. My dad has often told me that he feels part of the reason we have been blessed with safety, particularly in our travels, was due to his and my mom's faithfulness in paying tithing.
I've learned the importance of being worthy to hold and use the priesthood. I cannot tell you how many times I have asked my dad for a blessing, whether I was sick or I just needed some extra guidance and comfort. My dad was always ready, and always willing. If someone in our Ward needed a blessing, he was happy to accept the call.
I've learned how to give a good hug, and how much you need to let people know you love them. Not just tell them, but show them.
I've learned how to love my ancestors. I've learned that while they have already passed into the next life, they are just as involved in my life as those who are here with me. They care about and love me just as much. And I have increased my desire to know more about them, to be closer to them.
I've seen how important the Atonement is, and how much we all need to have it in our lives. I've learned the importance of forgiving others, not holding a grudge. I've seen how quickly anger can be turned to love when we choose to let it go.
I've learned that as a woman I deserve to be highly regarded, especially by my husband, and any man who treats me less is not worthy of me. I deserve a man who will love me more than anything even when we are not together. I've learned to not accept anything less than what I deserve when it comes to guys.
All these things I have learned from my dad. And I am eternally grateful to him for it.
Thanks Dad. I Love You.
I'm so glad when Daddy comes home
Glad as I can be
Clap my hands and shout for joy
Then climb up on his knee
Put my arms around his neck
Hug him tight like this
Pat his cheeks
Then give him what?
A great. Big. KISS! *smooch*
No words could more perfectly describe my thoughts and feelings toward my dad as a child.
When I was younger my dad was a Custodian for one of the local school districts. He would leave for work before I came home from school and would come back after I had gone to bed. But sometimes, on those nights when we didn't have school the next day, our mom let us go with her to pick him up from work. If we were very lucky, we'd get there just before he was finished with all of his work and he'd let us walk around the building with him as he finished up. I loved it.
During the summer, when all of the kids were out of school, my dad got to work during the day and be home at night. That's when we had our fun. My favorite memory from that time was playing hide and seek in the dark.
I also remember going hiking and camping with my family. We visited so many places, it's hard to list them all. We never flew anywhere, always drove, and we never stayed in an RV. We liked to camp out in tents. Dad was never too old to sleep in the tents with us, or to go on a hike. Sometimes, he did the hiking better than I could.
I remember watching movies and T.V. shows with my dad. We don't have the same taste in films and literature, but we could always find something to enjoy together, like Star Wars, Star Trek, The Invisible Man, Knight Rider, and Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman.
I remember walking to church with my dad. He always held my mom's hand (which meant only one of us could hold his or her hand, since the sidewalk wasn't big enough for more than that). His arm was always around my mom while they sat together in church. He opened doors for her, treated her like a queen. His queen.
When my mom passed away, he was devastated. To those who were with him every day, it wasn't hard to see that his heart was truly broken, another testimony to me of just how much he loves her. When he married my step-mom, Betty, it was like he could finally get the peace he needed to regain the bits of his heart that were broken and lost. And even though Betty isn't my mom, and she isn't his first love, he still loves her. He treats her the same way as he treated my mom.
To this day, whenever my dad talks about my mom, I can still see the love he feels for her in his eyes. I have never doubted how much he loves her, because I have seen it.
My dad isn't perfect. I've had my arguments with him, particularly as I got older. But I have learned as I've grown up just how much I love him and how important he is to me. I have been able to see just how much he cares about me, too.
One night while I was in college I couldn't sleep. I'd had my heart ripped out over a boy, and I was completely devastated. It was about 2 or 3 in the morning when I finally called my dad. When I told him what had happened his response surprised me.
"I knew there was a reason I couldn't sleep," he said.
My dad, from 200 miles away, had known that I needed him. While he didn't know the details of what was going on, he knew there was something wrong. Not only that, but the thing keeping me up that night, was keeping him up as well.
I have learned so much from my dad. I've learned that most repairs on a house you can do yourself. If you don't know how, you can learn. It's okay to try and fix it yourself. But it's also okay to have someone else do it.
I've learned the importance of paying tithing and how it can bless your life in all things, not just financially. My dad has often told me that he feels part of the reason we have been blessed with safety, particularly in our travels, was due to his and my mom's faithfulness in paying tithing.
I've learned the importance of being worthy to hold and use the priesthood. I cannot tell you how many times I have asked my dad for a blessing, whether I was sick or I just needed some extra guidance and comfort. My dad was always ready, and always willing. If someone in our Ward needed a blessing, he was happy to accept the call.
I've learned how to give a good hug, and how much you need to let people know you love them. Not just tell them, but show them.
I've learned how to love my ancestors. I've learned that while they have already passed into the next life, they are just as involved in my life as those who are here with me. They care about and love me just as much. And I have increased my desire to know more about them, to be closer to them.
I've seen how important the Atonement is, and how much we all need to have it in our lives. I've learned the importance of forgiving others, not holding a grudge. I've seen how quickly anger can be turned to love when we choose to let it go.
I've learned that as a woman I deserve to be highly regarded, especially by my husband, and any man who treats me less is not worthy of me. I deserve a man who will love me more than anything even when we are not together. I've learned to not accept anything less than what I deserve when it comes to guys.
All these things I have learned from my dad. And I am eternally grateful to him for it.
Thanks Dad. I Love You.
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