New Year Old Feelings

My first post of the new year! Yay! I have started up my classes again and I am totally pumped for them (surprisingly enough seeing as how I don't have a single theater class this semester).

Even though it's a new year and I am super excited for my classes, I have found myself being haunted by some feelings that seem to drudge around in my brain until just the right moment and then they get some kind of a random burst of energy and attack with a vengeance, or so it would seem.

I have strong feelings for a guy, the same guy that I have had strong feelings for for the past few months. I keep hoping and telling myself to just be patient, that something will happen soon but quite frankly, it's getting harder to keep it up.

I find myself feeling discouraged. Whenever I feel like I'm getting closer to finding "that guy" it's like life pulls him away and says, "Nope, just kidding!" and I am left with nothing but regret and an aching heart.

See, nothing has happened with this guy, nothing really it seems. I almost want him to look me in the eye and tell me that there will never be anything between us because at least then I would know where I stand. Would it hurt? Heck yeah, no doubt about it, but I hate being stranded out in the middle of the ocean with no life jacket and no sign of help anywhere. If I knew there was no hope then at least I could drown with dignity or something.

I'm 23 years old and practically all of my life I have dreamed about the day when I move from the single life and find the man that I'm going to spend the rest of my life with.

(The above was written in January, below is the newest-3/8/2012)

That guy? Yeah, he's with someone else. It's a long story, but the important part is that I am moving forward in spite of it all. He and I are still friends. It's hard, but I will be fine. :)

Classes have been going well (yay for A's in Human Bio!! :D) and everything else is going well too. I have started a new story that I am hoping to finish soon (it's going to be epic, just sayin').

Anyways, ta ta for now!

P.S. God is amazing!