The Little Voice in My Head

This week has been a rather interesting one. It started out as one of those "Life kinda sucks" weeks but due to recent events it has improved immensely.

It is at times like this, the times when I am feeling excited and super happy about something--specifically, guys and my relationships with them--when it gets activated. You know, that little voice in the back of your head that tells you, "Don't get your hopes up."

The voice has been activated many times in my life. I cannot call the voice terrible or bad, I mean it does have experience and it's intentions are good, but to be honest it is rather biased. It has never really seen much of the whole "Being hopeful is a good thing" paying off in this department. It has been there through many sleepless nights when I was feeling rotten because yet again a boy I liked informed me that I was great and amazing but he didn't like me the way I liked him. Some boys didn't even say it to me, they just kind of showed me (which were the most painful ones I admit). On those nights the voice would tell me, "I told you so, please don't hurt us again."

Well this week something amazing happened, which is to be divulged in the following blog, and that Little Voice piped up once more. I try to argue with it, like I always do, but part of me is convinced that it is right, that I shouldn't get my hopes up because this has happened in the past and nothing came from it.

But not everything that has happened this week has happened before. I like him, and he asked me.

Doesn't matter, he's probably just being nice.

But he chose me out of a group of other girls he could've asked.

Exactly; there are other fish in the sea and he knows it.

Well, what about the fact that he did it in person? No guy has EVER asked me on a date of his own accord in person.

So?

So? That has to mean something, right?

Not really.

Alright then, how 'bout this? Today he asked me to do something with him that had absolutely nothing to do with the date tomorrow. What do you think about that?

Maybe, but "maybe" isn't "definitely".

Sigh.

Even though this voice has been arguing with me this week, trying to prevent me from doing anything "stupid", it isn't as big as it usually is. I mean, it's never been some giant monster that pounces on you and practically rips your heart out for hoping something good will happen, but it has always been rather prominent and not so easy to forget. Like a person sitting next to you talking. Right now though, it feels more like a little bug in the corner simply saying, "No!"

I'm not sure what to think of all of this. Quite honestly I would like to look that Little Voice in the eye and say "Shut Up! Just let me be happy will you?!"

I am nervous and excited and, despite what the Voice says, I'm going to hope for the best. If it doesn't happen, then I will just file it away as more proof that it could happen, because honestly, anything could happen.