Why I Like Kayla

About a week and a half ago, I got a text message from my Best Friend stating that she had been given a homework assignment to find out why it is that I like her.  I agreed and, because of who I am as a person, decided to write my thoughts in the form of a letter.  Okay, so it's more like a short essay masquerading as a letter. 

The letter is addressed to the person who gave her the assignment, however, I knew it was highly unlikely that they would actually read it because, knowing who gave her the assignment, it was more for Kayla's benefit than the other person's. 

I have chosen to share that letter here because I want everyone to know what it is that makes me like Kayla.  Why it is that she is my best friend.  Plus, I am very proud of this literary piece of work. ;-)

If you are fortunate enough to have a best friend, whether it's someone you've known since childhood, a family member, or a friend who has recently come into your life, I would encourage you to let him or her know just how much they mean to you, how special they are to you.  They deserve to know, and you deserve to tell them.

Here it is, my short-essay-masquerading-as-a-letter about my best friend, Kayla.

Enjoy.


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September 29, 2016

Dear Sir or Madam,

My name is Stephanie.  I am Kayla’s best friend, and she is mine.  It was brought to my attention yesterday via text message that you have assigned Kayla with the task of discovering why it is that I like her.  Understanding the value of such an assignment, and always on the lookout for an opportunity to brag about my amazing best friend, I was happy to offer my complete cooperation in this matter.

“Do you need it in writing?  Is a blood signature required?” I asked, to which she promptly responded with, “You can write it if you want to.  And yes, a blood signature is required.”

Never being one to shy away from the chance to put my love of writing to work, I spent the remainder of my day thinking about the assignment, and today, I have pieced together what I hope to be an adequate response to the question at hand.

So, why do I like Kayla?  To be honest, I have never really thought about the “why” of our friendship.  We met six years ago in college.  It was Kayla’s first semester as a freshman, and it was my fourth semester living away from home, enjoying the life of a college student.  She was very quiet that first Saturday when she moved in.  I remember sitting in my room getting settled and she came to ask me what time church was.  That was the first, and only interaction we had that day I think.  We may have done something else with one of our other roommates.  I don’t really remember.

The next day we walked to church together.  I, being the person that I am, happily chatted away at her, asking several questions about her likes, her major, all of the things you ask a brand new roommate.  Her answers weren’t too detailed, never giving more information than was absolutely necessary.  It was like a cat person that walked into a room with a happy, energetic, lovable chocolate lab puppy (three guesses which of us was the puppy, and the first two don’t count).  Eventually we fell into a bit of an awkward silence and, honestly, I thought maybe she didn’t like me, that maybe I had annoyed her with my insistent chattering and friendly interrogation.  But, in spite of our awkward beginnings, it only took me a week to break through her shell, and after that there was no turning back.

Kayla is hilarious.  I cannot begin to list all of the funny things she has said or done, there are so many.  She has made me laugh to the point of stomach aches and near tears, something that didn’t happen all that often until we met.  Seriously, I have probably had just as many gut busting laughing fits in the six years we’ve known each other as I did in the twenty-one years before I met her, maybe even more.  We laugh about all kinds of things, and sometimes we laugh about absolutely nothing.

Kayla is so smart.  She is an excellent problem solver, and can see things that other people would totally miss.  She knows a lot about many things, and some about even more things.  Just enough to make her dangerous. ;-)

We both love superheroes, particularly those of the Marvel variety, and we both have a love for Supernatural, Sherlock, Merlin, Firefly, Ouran High School Host Club, and many other wonderful fandoms.  We can sit down and watch an action movie, chick flick, Disney film, spiritually uplifting, or an anime and neither one of us will feel like we had to “settle” for something we didn’t really want to watch anyway.

We’ve had many adventures together.  Late night Denny’s runs, day trips to visit with friends, Disneyland twice (which was a total blast, by the way), and this year we even braved our own campout experience.  But, to be honest, every moment can be an adventure with Kayla.

If the story of how our friendship began isn’t enough of an inclination, I am a talker.  That’s not to say that conversations between Kayla and I are mostly one-sided.  Often times she steers and dominates the conversation.  But I do like to talk, about any and everything almost.  In spite of my carrying on about things, even things that are completely random and have absolutely zero relevancy to either of our lives, she still listens.  She listens to me go on about a new show that I watched, or a book that I read that is just killing me, even if it’s not really something that she is all that interested in.  I can tell her my story ideas and get constructive criticism from her about them.  I can talk to her about my thoughts and feelings regarding issues that are important to me, whether or not they have value to her, and she listens.  I could go on and on about guys that I liked, and she would listen patiently, to the good and the bad, and never once criticized me for my choice in guys, nor would she try to discourage me from pursuing a guy that I really liked.

She puts up with my shenanigans.  Yeah, no real need to elaborate I think.  J

She gets along with my family, which is a big deal considering they are a HUGE part of my life, and has even become a welcomed addition to it.  At those times when my family is just driving me crazy, she is there to listen to my thoughts and feelings, and gives me the support I need to get over it.

There have been a lot of things in my life that weren’t easy to deal with.  Some of them, like losing my mom, happened before Kayla and I ever met, and they came with some baggage, especially losing my mom.  Kayla never questioned it, never told me to just “get over it” or to “move on” or whatever.  She accepted me and all the baggage that came with me, and even offered to carry a bag or two if needed.

These are the things I like about Kayla, the things that have shaped my friendship with her.  But, what’s the why?  What is it that makes these things about her so appealing and likeable to me?  Looking back over it, evaluating and processing it all in my mind, I figured it out.

She makes me happy. 

I can be myself with her and she’ll never leave me for it. 

I can be my “20 kinds of crazy” and most of the time she’ll join in, and for those times when I’m just being crazy on my own, she sticks around, never judging or criticizing the things that make me, me. 

She makes me feel important in the world, that my existence matters.  In the past there were times when I wanted to just run away, to leave everything behind me and not look back.  She helps me want to stay. 

She isn’t just my friend, she’s a sister, a kindred spirit that I have been lucky enough to not only cross paths with, but to stick with and to live life with.  She is the Watson to my Sherlock, the Dianna to my Anne, the Sam to my Frodo and the Merlin to my Arthur.  And I thank God every day for the blessing of having her in my life.

I honestly can’t imagine my life without her.  Actually, I can, and it would be a much bleaker one.  My world would be less without her.  True story.

And so, dear sir or madam, this is why I like Kayla.  This is why she is, and always will be, my absolute best friend.  I would like to thank you for giving her this assignment, because while it’s no secret that the two of us are best friends, I don’t tell her enough just how much she means to me, how valuable she is, and how critical she is to my happiness, to my existence.

Thank you.

Sincerely,

Stephanie

AKA Kayla’s Best Friend

P.S.  Please forgive my choice to refrain from meeting the requirement of a blood signature.  It really is quite unsanitary. 

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Have a great day everyone!

A Letter

Dear             ,

I have something to tell you.  It's something that I have been trying to ignore, to forget about.  Something that, once it's said, will change everything.

I am in love with you.

I wish I could say that I loved you ever since the moment I first saw you.  But, that's not true.  In fact, I was surprised that I didn't swoon over you the first time I saw you.  Normally a guy like you would have automatically made it onto my "radar" but for whatever reason, you didn't.

It was the little things that made you stand out.  Saying "Hi" to me whenever we'd see each other.  The times when you stop and talk with me about what's going on in your life, even though we both have somewhere else we really should be.  The way your eyes light up when you are really truly happy.  The times you sat with me when I was alone, or came over and talked to me when nobody else would.  Teaming up with me to play a game I had never even heard of, and even going a second round with me.  The fact that you don't treat my roommate any different just because she has different opinions, views, and religious beliefs.  Seeing you accomplish your goals and dreams, the joy that you feel with each accomplishment.  These are only some of the things that have made me fall for you.

I know, you are already seeing someone else.  I know you are only interested in being friends.  But I had to say something.  Because in the next year or so things will change.  You'll move on, one way or another you'll move along with your life.  You'll be gone, and chances are when you leave, this friendship that we have will diminish, dissipate, like so many of my other friendships.  You'll be gone, and I'll be left behind to pick up the pieces of the broken heart I am doomed to be dealt.

I'm not trying to win your heart, nor is this letter meant to be that of a brokenhearted girl who doesn't know how else to express herself but through writing.  I am writing this because I think it is important for you to know that I am completely, hopelessly in love with you.

Chances are you'll never see this letter, never know that it's for you.  Even if you do see it you probably won't know that you're the one I'm talking to.  Because in your mind we are only friends, and it would be silly for you to think of us as anything more.

But if, by some miracle, you do see this letter, and you figure it out, please don't hate me, and don't feel sorry for me.  Just know that I am grateful to have you in my life, to love you, even if you don't love me back.

Is that strange?  To be happy loving you, even though I know you will likely never feel the same way?  Maybe it is strange, maybe it's completely abnormal.  But, even if it is strange, abnormal, it's still true.  I love you, so much, and I wouldn't trade the time I have spent with you, falling in love with you, for anything in the world.  Ever.

I hope that you continue finding success in your life, that you find joy in your work and that one day you find that special someone who you want to spend the rest of your life with.  I hope she loves you back, and that she never takes for granted all of the wonderful things that you are.  And I hope I can continue being a witness to all of the amazing things that transpire in your life.

All my love.

I Feel I Need to Say Something...

In light of the recent events that have taken place, I feel like I need to say something.

It breaks my heart that people would be so diluted by hatred that they would knowingly walk into any place and just start shooting whoever was there.  I don't care who you are, what your beliefs are or aren't, it isn't right.  It isn't right that this person took these people's lives.  It isn't right that there are mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, friends, and other loved ones of those killed or injured who have to find some way to cope with all of this.

All day yesterday the song Treasure by Jamesthemormon was stuck in my head.  If you haven't heard it or seen the music video, click here to check it out on YouTube.  I hope and pray that in spite of this tragedy, we as a nation can stand up with those who have been effected, whether directly or indirectly, and show our love and support.

I have something to ask of you, my readers.  Please don't spread the hatred.  Don't spread the hate for the shooter, or for anyone else involved in this act.  If we allow ourselves to hate, even if our hatred seems justified, we are no better than the ones responsible.

Spread love, everyone.  Do what you can to show your support and offer help for those in need during this time.  If you can't help them, for whatever reason, then please help someone else.  Do service for someone, anyone.  There's enough bad karma in the world.  Let's start spreading the good.

I want to say that I am so grateful for my family and friends who are always there for me, who love me and support me no matter how much I may screw up.  I love you all so much.

As for you, readers, I love you too.  I know there are some of you that I don't personally know, but that doesn't change the fact that I love you all very much.  I mentioned in a previous post that loving someone is to want good for them, and I want good for all of you.  Truly, I do.

Stay safe everyone.  Keep holding on to your hope and love.  Don't let fear, ignorance, and contempt take away from the beautiful life that you have been given.  Yes, it is beautiful.  Maybe things are hard now, and maybe you feel like your life isn't worth much to you or to others, but I can tell you that's not true.  You are amazing, remarkable.  Your very existence is miraculous.  Don't let the negativity around you determine your joy.  You are stronger than that.  You are MORE than that.

I love you all.  Stay strong.  Shake it off, and FIGHT ON!

52 Books to Review #3: The Huntress of Thornbeck Forest by Melanie Dickerson

Have you ever read a book that sucks you in so completely that when you finish you feel like you've just said goodbye to dear friends?  Well, that's how I am feeling right now after finishing Melanie Dickerson's The Huntress of Thornbeck Forest.

Summary (as provided by Goodreads)

The margrave owns the finest hunting grounds for miles around—and who teaches children to read, but by night this young beauty has become the secret lifeline to the poorest of the poor.

For Jorgen Hartman, the margrave’s forester, tracking down a poacher is a duty he is all too willing to perform. Jorgen inherited his post from the man who raised him . . . a man who was murdered at the hands of a poacher.


When Jorgen and Odette meet at the Midsummer festival and share a connection during a dance, neither has any idea that they are already adversaries.

The one man she wants is bound by duty to capture her; the one woman he loves is his cunning target . . . What becomes of a forester who protects a notorious poacher? What becomes of a poacher when she is finally discovered?

As I said, this book had me so enraptured and pulled into the story, I am actually finding it difficult not to read it a second time right now.  The characters were so well developed, and the plot was well executed, making it difficult not to get hooked.

The characters of Odette and Jorgen are phenomenal.  Dickerson really took the time to show just how human and realistic these two characters are, and it makes them even more lovable.  Jorgen's kindheartedness towards even those who have wronged him moves in tangent with Odette's desire to help the poor of Thornbeck, and the two compliment each other so beautifully I couldn't help but "feel all the feels" while joining them on there adventure.

The plot was enough to keep you guessing.  What would happen when Jorgen found out the truth about Odette?  Who killed his father?  What is really going on behind the scenes of the town of Thornbeck?  Would Odette seriously consider marrying another man when Jorgen is clearly the one for her?

Honestly, I am disheartened that I reached the end of this journey.  I am hesitant to begin reading the next story, afraid that it won't amount to the same quality as this one, that it won't capture my imagination as vividly as this one did.  And it is sad to say goodbye to these characters.

I know it may sound silly, I mean, it's "just a story".  And yet, I still feel this way.

The mark of a good writer is creating and portraying characters in such a way that the reader, at the close of the tale, feel as if they have bid farewell to a dear friend.

Thank you, Ms. Dickerson, for sharing your friends with me.  I look forward to one day meeting more of them.

Next up: Dawn of the Dreadfuls by Steve Hockensmith.

Have a wonderful day everyone.

Me Before You: Why I Will See the Movie Again

WARNING: Spoilers for the film Me Before You.

I recently saw an article on my Facebook titled "Why I Won't See Me Before You", or something to that effect.  I was curious about the article--especially since it was a good friend who shared it--and I decided to read it, see what this particular individual's opinion was of this story. 

I am not going to go into what the author of that article had to say about the story (I'm sure anyone who wants to know what people are saying against the story can find it on their own).  The point of this post is to tell you about my experience seeing the film.

When I first saw the trailer for Me Before You, I immediately wanted to see it.  It seemed like it would be a cute romantic film, even though I was certain that Will Traynor was likely going to die (it's never deterred me in the past).  So the best friend and I agreed that when it came out, we would go see it.

Some basics about the story.  Will Traynor was a successful businessman with a wonderful girlfriend and an all around wonderful life.  As nearly 30 years old, on his way to work, he is hit by a motorcycle while crossing the street to catch a cab, and becomes a quadriplegic.  Two years after the accident, his parents are looking to hire a companion for him.  

Enter Louisa Clark, a spunky young woman who has her own crazy flair and zest for life.  She interviews for the position and while it doesn't seem to go well, Mrs. Traynor decides to give her the job.  The initial meeting between Will and Lou seems strained and a bit awkward, but Lou refuses to back down.  Will continues to be kind a bit of a jerk towards her, and it's not until she stands up to him, speaking out against his behavior towards her, that he starts to soften, and the two eventually become friends.

What Louisa didn't know when she accepted the job is that she is, essentially, on suicide watch for Will.  He had previously tried to end his life, and about a month before meeting Louisa he had given his parents 6 months before he was going to travel to Switzerland to a facility that provided assisted suicide.  Louisa is devastated when she finds out, and considers quitting.  Her sister, however, convinces her to stay and try to make Will's remaining time something worthwhile.  Lou starts to view it as an opportunity to change Will's mind.

In the end, after all of her efforts to convince Will that he should live, he chooses to go through with his decision to end his life.  He asks Louisa to come with him and his parents to Switzerland, and at first she utterly refuses.  After a talk with her father, and some time to think about everything, she decides to go and be with Will for his last moments of life.

You can probably understand why there is so much conflict surrounding this story.  I've heard/read arguments about how the fact that Will is disabled and suicidal will make people think that all disabled people are depressed and suicidal.  That it was wrong for the his parents not to tell Louisa the truth about Will's desire for assisted suicide.  That it "glorifies" or "romanticizes" suicide, etc., etc.

I can see how someone would come to these conclusions, and how this story could be viewed as such.  But that's not what the story is about.

This story isn't about a disabled man who falls in love with a healthy woman, or vice versa.  It's not about a disabled man who wants to die or the woman who wants to save him.  Those are just things that happen in the story, factors that allow what the story is really about to be told. 

This story is about love.

I know, I know, you're thinking, "Love? How can those things, those factors that are so appalling and disgusting to people possibly point to love?"

Allow me to make some points to ultimately prove what I am trying to say.

The most obvious point I can make to support my claim is Louisa's love for Will.  First of all, she stays with him, in spite of his attitude towards her, and in spite of his wishes to die.  Her determination to make him smile and to make him happy, before she ever finds out about his decision, shows that she felt a degree of love for him, even if it wasn't anything romantic at the start.  She cares about him, loves him, and doesn't want him to end his life.  She wants him to have more than just the limited life he believes himself to be confined to, and therefore does what she can to show him.

Will loves Louisa, regardless of the fact that he chooses to end his life.  When Louisa stands up to him she goes on about how she doesn't care for his attitude, nor does she care about him, and that she is only doing the job because she needs the money.  After hearing this, Will begins doing what he can to make Louisa's job a little more bearable, and that's what leads to their becoming friends and eventually falling in love.  He didn't have to be nice to her.  He could have just as easily continued behaving the same way towards her as he had before she chewed him out, but instead he chose to change.  He cared about the fact that she was unhappy, felt his own degree of love for her, even though, again, it wasn't anything really romantic at first.

When Will finally confronts Louisa about his decision to die he tells her that he doesn't want her to be tied to him.  He doesn't want her to settle for a lesser life because of him.  He five months getting to know her, caring about her, and wanting her to become more than she was, to see the world and widen her horizons.  That's part of the reason that he went along with some of her more ridiculous ideas.  He knew from the beginning that nothing was going to change his mind, and he chose to make the last months of his life mean something.  He chose to make a difference in Lou's life.

It may not seem like it, but you do see the love that Will's parents have for him.  During an argument between Mr. and Mrs. Traynor regarding Will's decision, his mother argues that she loves him and doesn't want him to die.  Mr. Traynor makes the same argument, but concedes that nothing is going to change Will's mind.  He tells his wife that if they don't respect Will's wishes he will likely try to kill himself again, but they won't be there, and he will be alone.  Allowing him to go through with the assisted suicide would allow him to go peacefully and give them the chance to be there with him.  They would get to say goodbye.

The last point I would like to make is in regards to Louisa's decision to go to Switzerland and be with Will when he died.  During the conversation Louisa had with her father, she went on about how she had failed.  She had tried so hard to convince Will to change his mind and it didn't work.  Her father looked at her seriously and asked, "Who said you failed?"  He continued to tell her that Will had made up his mind long before he met Louisa, and there wasn't anything more that anyone could have done to change his mind.  Louis asked her father what she was supposed to do, how she was supposed to deal with it all.  He told her simply that she just needed to love him.  After considering everything, she decides to go and be with him.  Sometimes, your "happy ending" isn't what you expect it to be.  If Louisa had chosen to stay away while Will was in Switzerland, she would have spent the rest of her life feeling awful about the last things she said to him, and she would never have gotten the closure she needed to move forward with her life.

Love isn't a perfect fairy tale.  Sometimes you love someone with everything you have and you still end up with a broken heart.  There isn't always a knight in shining armor, or a brave princess that saves her prince, or a beautiful wedding with bells ringing.  There isn't always a "happily ever after".  Love isn't the same for everyone, and it isn't shown in the same way by everyone.  Sometimes, even after all you do, you can't help someone that doesn't want to be helped.  But that should never, ever, stop you from loving them, and being there for them when they need you.  And sometimes that's the most powerful kind of love you can offer.

If you made it through to the end of this post, I thank you for taking the time to listen/read my thoughts and opinions about this.  I would like to end this post by saying that, while I really loved this movie, I understand that it isn't for everyone.  And that's okay.  I am not asking you, my reader, to accept the thoughts and opinions I have expressed, nor do I expect you to go see a film that you feel would not be satisfying.  The choice is entirely yours.  All I ask is that, should you choose to see this film, you set aside the generalization that it is about a disabled man who wishes to die and the woman who tries to save him, and look at the possibility that maybe, maybe, there is something more to it.  Maybe you'll see what I see, maybe you'll see something different.  Perhaps you won't see anything else at all.  Just try to look beyond the top layers, dig deeper into the tale and the characters and really look at it all.

Thank you again for enduring through this rather long and opinionated post.  Your readership is greatly appreciated!

Movie Review: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows

This week is just full of reviews for all of you!

On Tuesday my friend Emma and I went to see Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows.  When I first heard they were making a sequel to the 2014 remake of one of my favorite childhood films, I wasn't all too thrilled.  The 2014 film, while it wasn't terrible, didn't really stand out to me as spectacular.  The computer animated turtles kind of turned me off a little, and I felt like the story was more about April O'Neil than it was about the actual Turtles.  I did like that the turtles were seemed more like actual teenagers, and their origin story was kind of interesting, but honestly, I didn't think it could ever really compare to the original films.

So, why did I decide to see this sequel when I wasn't as thrilled about the first one?  Two words: Stephen Amell.  Yes, that's right, the only reason I got super stoked about this film was because I am a total fan girl for Stephen Amell.  And when I found out he was going to be Casey Jones, I knew I would have to see it.

Despite the fact that I only went to the movie for Stephen Amell, I was pleasantly surprised by how good the film actually was.  I felt like the Turtles all had 3 dimensional characters, as opposed to the seemingly flat ones from the first film.  Their personal growth and development throughout the film was intriguing and well written, and I feel like I was able to see more of who they all are as individuals.

April O'Neil was well played, and I didn't feel like her role overshadowed the Turtles as much as I felt in the first one.  I like that she was a solid, well established character that knew what she was doing and where she was going.

Casey Jones?  Oh my gosh!  I loved him!  Not just because it was Stephen Amell, though it may have influenced it a little bit.  I really enjoyed the story line for him and the way that Stephen played him was phenomenal.  The only thing more that I have to say is he was stinking adorkable.

Also, no real romance between Casey and April. THANK YOU!  I mean, yeah, I still think they could be together, but I liked that the movie wasn't about their "budding romance".

And can I just give a shout out to the villains in this film?  Commander Krane was fantastically animated and Rocksteady and Bebop were hilarious.  Shredder also made another appearance in this film, as well as a zany mad-scientist-esque character who I kind of felt like he was going to get turned into one of the animal-human crossbreed things.  Not sure what he would have been, but I think he should have been one of those.  Ha, ha, ha.

To anyone who felt disappointed by the 2014 remake of TMNT, I recommend finding whatever bit of TMNT fan is still in you and letting it propel you to the theater to see this movie.  It is 20 times better than the first, in my personal opinion.

52 Books to Review #2: The Beautiful Pretender by Melanie Dickerson

When my step-mother handed me her copy of The Beautiful Pretender by Melanie Dickerson, I wasn't even sure I would actually read it.  When it comes to historical romances, I usually go for the regency era, and I wasn't really sure how I would feel about a medieval romance.  But as my step-mother was absolutely certain that I would enjoy the story I took it anyway, and eventually I actually started reading it.

And I loved it.

Summary (as found on Goodreads)

The Margrave of Thornbeck has to find a bride, fast. He invites ten noble-born ladies from around the country to be his guests at Thornbeck Castle for two weeks, a time to test these ladies and reveal their true character.

Avelina is only responsible for two things: making sure her deception goes undetected and avoiding being selected as the margrave’s bride. Since the latter seems unlikely, she concentrates on not getting caught. No one must know she is merely a maidservant, sent by the Earl of Plimmwald to stand in for his daughter, Dorothea.

Despite Avelina’s best attempts at diverting attention from herself, the margrave has taken notice. And try as she might, she can’t deny her own growing feelings. But something else is afoot in the castle. Something sinister that could have far worse—far deadlier—consequences. Will Avelina be able to stop the evil plot? And at what cost?

First of all, let me just say that I love the whole premise of her trying to NOT let the Margrave fall in love with her.  I think it's brilliant, and honestly, quite refreshing.  It certainly adds to Avelina's character, and makes her all the more charming (especially when she tries so hard not to fall for him herself and convince him that he should choose one of the other girls).

I loved that the characters weren't atypical and that they did not fall under the same categories as your average fairy tale heroes and heroines.  Avelina is handy at picking locks (a fun little quirk that comes in handy), and the Margrave, though rough and fierce at times, is also hopeless when it comes to finding a wife, which makes him all the more lovable.

While this tale is not nearly as action packed or fast paced as my previous read, it definitely moves forward, and leaves you guessing.  Will the Margrave find out the truth before it's too late?  Will Avelina confide in her new found friend?  Who is the strange woman that interrupted the Margrave's ball?  Are the rumors surrounding the Margrave's appointment to his position true?

If you love a good historical romance, and don't object to a few German words here and there, I would certainly recommend this book.

Next up:  The Huntress of Thornbeck by Melanie Dickerson

52 Books to Review #1: Karneval by Touya Mikanagi

To start of my "52 Books in 2016" book reviews, let's take a look at Karneval by Touya Mikanagi.  I read 4 volumes of this enchanting manga, but I am going to just give a review of all of it so far.

Summary (as found on Goodreads)

Nai--a young man who travels in search of another by the name of Karoku, a lone bracelet his only lead. Gareki--a willful young man who earns his daily bread by thieving and picking pockets. Thrown together at an eerie mansion, where they are entrapped and framed, Nai and Gareki are soon hunted down as criminals by national security forces. As they are driven into a corner, before them appears the most powerful defense agency in the country, "Circus"--!!

To be honest, the biggest reason that I got into this manga is because I saw the anime and wanted to know what happens after the anime ends (and the only reason I got into the anime is because I saw a preview for it while watching another anime).  But, I am so glad that I picked it up.

The story moves at a good pace, not so slow that you get bored, and not so fast that you can't keep up.  Granted, there are times when things get a big confusing, and you have to stop and think about what you just read, but a lot of the confusion comes from simply not knowing the whole plot line (which is fine since it is slowly being revealed bit by bit). 

This is a fantasy story, so if you're not into fantasy/action manga you can probably sit this one out.  Some of the more fantastic elements of the story are firstly, the protagonists are an organization that has engineered a drug that will genetically alter a person's physical form and, to an extent, their personalities as well.  These "demons" are called varugas.  Circus Airships 1 and 2 are tasked with tracking down varugas and eliminating them.  They are able to do this using magic.

I love the diversity of the characters, and the fact that they aren't cookie cutter, stereotypical people.  The character of Nai is particularly interesting.  Not just because of his origins (I won't spoil it for you), but also because of how his origins effect everything that he does.  I enjoy his childlike personality, and the fact that in spite of it, he is still incredibly intuitive and actually wise at times.

I feel like there is more to be learned about Gareki.  He seems, initially, to be a fairly cut and dry character, and a little bit predictive.  But as you continue going with him on his journey, you start to see that deep down, there is so much more of him to be offered, and I can't wait to see what is in store for him.

Characters of Circus Airship 2

I have to admit, as I read the manga (and watched the anime), I couldn't help comparing the characters of Yogi and Captain Hirato to Tamaki Suoh and Kyouya Ootori from Ouran High School Host Club.  Not only are their appearances similar, but some of their mannerisms as well.  Hirato is cool, collected, and a bit calculating (Kyouya), while Yogi is free spirited, generally happy, and sometimes a bit immature (Tamaki).  However, both of these characters have sides to them that would seem contrary to their usual demeanor.

Tsukumo is another of Airship 2's crew members.  She seems at first to be unemotional and focused solely on her job.  She comes off as being older than she really is, which I think adds to her seeming indifference to certain things.  However, there are moments when it is obvious she has been effected in an emotional way by something that is happening.  I hope to see more of her back story as I get the opportunity to read more.

I highly recommend this series to anyone who is a fantasy manga fan.  If  you're not sure, at least check out the anime and decide for yourself! 

52 Books in 2016

Back in January I made a resolution that I would read 52 books this year.  The past two years I haven't read as many books as I would like, and I have an extremely long list of books that I would like to read.  Hence, the reason for my 52 Books in 2016 goal.

As of last week, I have read a grand total of 5 books (Karneval Omnibus: Volumes 1 - 4 by Touya Mikanagi, and The Beautiful Pretender by Melanie Dickerson), and I am reading book number 6 right now (The Huntress of Thornbeck Forest by Melanie Dickerson). Almost halfway done with the year and that's where I'm at. *eye roll* Whatever, I am still determined to succeed! If I finish at least 2 books a week until the end of the year then I will make it.  I just have to keep pushing forward!

In light of this resolution, I have decided to write reviews of the books that I read.  This will help me to not only keep track of what I've read, but hopefully remind me to keep reading! Ha, ha, ha.

I will be posting my reviews for the books I've read so far later today.  And next week you should, hopefully, be seeing two more reviews!

Have an awesome day everyone!

My Epic Movie Moment (and the Aftermath)

Story Time!!

Being that yesterday was Easter, I spent the weekend at my parents house. As my car is still out of commission, I had take the train back home. My parents drove me over to the station and said they would wait until I got on the train. I could see flashing red lights as the boom gates came down across the road, indicating the soon-to-be arrival of my train. I hopped out of the truck and run towards the platform, hoping I wouldn't miss the train. There was an elevated sidewalk just before you go through the fence to enter the platform. I noted it, and tried to step up onto it without having to stop or slow down. However, my foot didn't quite clear the curb and I tripped.

In my left hand I had a glass vase full of roses that I had gotten this weekend. As the concrete came up to meet me, I only had one clear, coherent thought: I must save the vase!!! So I threw my arm up to avoid the impending contact between the concrete and the vase. The flowers survived, undamaged. My shin, however, was not so lucky.

I peeled myself off of the sidewalk and watched as the train pulled into the station. I took a split second to evaluate my injuries and calculate the possibility of making it down the rest of the side walk, through the fence, onto the platform, pulling out my public transportation card, scanning it, and then onto the train.

Nope, I thought to myself. Not happening.

I heard the sound of my dad's truck door opening as I proceeded to stand up. "You alright?" he called as he hurried over.

"I'm good," I said, trying to keep my voice light and cheerful while my leg screamed it's protest. No, we are NOT fine, it asserted. WE are in PAIN!!!

"Well, there's your train," my dad said as he stopped next to me and helped me collect the things I had dropped.

"Yeah..." I replied. "I'll just catch the next one."

My phone, which had been in my jacket pocket, was lying face up on the pavement. I picked it up and inspected the screen. No damage. I felt the camera lens to make sure it hadn't cracked. Still good. Whew.

My step-mom said they would stay while I waited for the next train and told me to wait in the truck with them where it was warm. I was happy to oblige. While sitting in the truck I was able to assess the damage on my leg. It wasn't as bad as it could have been (there was no blood dripping down my leg), but it was pretty bad. I also noticed that the back of my phone seemed a little banged up towards the top, and upon further inspection found that the back of the phone had cracked. Thankfully, it is still functioning properly.

I managed to catch the next train (I made sure I was on the platform at least 5 minutes before it pulled into the station), and I settled into a seat that was unoccupied. As the train went along, the air conditioning was on, moving the air in the car around. The air moving across my exposed shin made the injury sting even more.

Shortly after the incident, riding the train home.

I talked to my roommate and asked if we had a first aid kit. Naturally, we don't (something to be remedied with my next paycheck). Luckily, the best friend had a first aid kit, and as she was driving me home from the station she was happy to bring it along.

I got home, cleaned up my wound, and used the Neosporin spray that the best friend let me borrow (side note: can I just say that whoever thought to make Neosporin into a spray was freaking genius? It was nice to not have to rub the cream over my skinned shin). I prepared to put on some Band-Aids and realized that the gauze portion of said Band-Aids would certainly not cover the area of offense, and that I would, in fact, end up with the sticky portion of the bandages covering most of it. That simply would not do, as even the thought of trying to peel that off made me cringe.

So I resorted to using a paper towel as a protection between the affected area and the Band-Aids. It worked out splendidly.

Sleeping was awful. There were only so many sleeping positions I could utilize without causing a stinging pain to radiate up and down my leg. Not to mention I am fairly confident that the concrete not only took skin but left some bruising as well. Every once in a while during the night I would forget about my leg and lay on it, or I would brush it against the sheets/blanket in the wrong way. So troublesome...

This morning I woke up and realized I needed to shower. It took me a few minutes to muster up enough courage to actually get into the shower and do so. I devised a plan that I thought would make the experience less painful, but alas, I was wrong. Thankfully I woke up early enough that the extra time spent in the shower didn't hinder me too much from catching the bus, though I was a bit slower walking to the stop today.

This morning at work, before putting a new bandage on it.

So far it hasn't been too problematic. Every now and then I'll accidentally bump it, or I'll get distracted by my work and it has to send out a cry of injustice just to remind me that it's still there. But other than that, it hasn't been too bad, but that's probably just the Midol that I took this morning.

Anyways, I had to share my epic movie moment story (because let's be honest, running to catch a train and tripping just as it's pulling into the station is totally something you'd see in some romantic comedy. Only there was no attractive male lead to come and sweep me off my feet after the incident...). I hope you all had a lovely Easter weekend and that the rest of your week is totally awesome!

The Perfect Fan Whom I Dearly Miss

Back when I was in college, I watched a movie with my roommates and my cousin.  In the movie someone that the main character grows to care about dies from cancer.  Towards the end of the movie, after everyone else had mostly finished crying, one of my roommates looked at me and said, "If must be so hard for you.  I don't know how you do it."

I knew what she was referring to, and I knew that she wasn't trying to be rude or insensitive.  The truth is, I didn't know how I did it either. 

Today was hard.  Seven years ago I was celebrating my mom's 56th birthday with my family.  It was at a park, if I remember correctly.  Or maybe that was another year, I don't know. It's hard to remember sometimes.

I worry about that. Forgetting, I mean.  To tell you the truth I am afraid of forgetting.  Afraid of forgetting my mom.  Afraid of forgetting the important things.

But there are some things I do remember.  I remember the sound of her laugh.  How her face looked when she just couldn't hold it in anymore. A smile that reached ear to ear, eyes that lit up.  I always knew that she was happy at that moment.

I remember sitting on the porch during rain storms and watching the lightning, listening to the thunder.  She would talk about how she used to wait for the lightning and thunder as a child, and when it came she would hide under the bed and laugh.  I remember camping, hiking, outings to the park.

I remember always seeing her in the audience whenever there was a concert, play, or other kind of performane or special event.  I remember going with her to cub scouts, all of the service she did for those boys.  I remember her as the Primary President of Wells Ward.

I remember her waiting up with my dad whenever I went out, whether on a date or with friends.  I remember summer days swimming in the pool.  I remember her pulling weeds in the garden she loved so much.  I remember driving with her to pick up my dad from work.

I remember listening to her read to us as we got ready for bed, The Wizard of Oz especially.  I remember all of the things she made.  Crocheted bears, doll dresses, hats.

I remember a phone call on my 20th birthday, the only birthday salutation that I really got that year.  I was sitting in my apartment alone, no friends to celebrate with, no cake or presents.  That was the first time in my life that I didn't do something for my birthday.  I felt awful. 

She felt so bad that she hadn't called first thing that morning, or earlier in the day at least.  "It's okay," I had told her.  "It's not a big deal."

"It is a big deal," she assured me.  "The day you were born is important."

I cried, but didn't let her know.

After she died I dreamed about her.  Just simple things, like a conversation about nothing in particular.  One dream was so vivid I could actually recall what she smelled like.

People tell me how much they admire my strength and ability to cope with losing my mom at such a young age.  The truth is, I'm not any stronger than the next person.  And some days, like today, I miss her so much that the pain I felt the night she died comes flooding back.  It never really goes away, we just learn how to accept it and move on with our day.

Sometimes it hurts, so much.  It hurts that I can't talk to her like I used to.  That I can't see her when I talk to her.  It hurts not being able to pick up the phone and hear her voice on the other line.  I was sick last week, and all I could think about was how much I just wanted my mom.

But that's the beauty of the gospel.  Because of a merciful God, there was a plan put into action that would allow us to not only be redeemed from mistakes that we make,  but it also enables us to see our loved ones again.  Because of Jesus Christ, all mankind can and will be resurrected.  Because of Him, I'll see my mom again.

My mom was an amazing woman.  She wasn't perfect, as none of us are, but she was the best mom that I could ever hope to have in my life.  She was the kindest, most warm-hearted, selfless, happiest person, and I am so grateful for the 20 years that I was blessed to have her in my life for.

Sometimes, I worry that I'm disappointing her.  I worry that the choices I am making in my life make her sad.  I worry that my job, or my grades, my lack of a love life, or even where I am spiritually will somehow never measure up to all that she hopes for me.  But then I remember her love, and I can feel her reaching out to me to remind me that whatever I do, I am hers and she loves me dearly.

To my mother, Janette Marie Curtis Featherstone, I want to say thank you.  Thank you for your love and support.  You are me biggest fan, always have been.  I am and forever will be proud to call you my mother.

Happy Birthday, Mom.  I LOVE YOU!!!