WARNING: Spoilers for the film Me Before You.
I recently saw an article on my Facebook titled "Why I Won't See Me Before You", or something to that effect. I was curious about the article--especially since it was a good friend who shared it--and I decided to read it, see what this particular individual's opinion was of this story.
I am not going to go into what the author of that article had to say about the story (I'm sure anyone who wants to know what people are saying against the story can find it on their own). The point of this post is to tell you about my experience seeing the film.
When I first saw the trailer for Me Before You, I immediately wanted to see it. It seemed like it would be a cute romantic film, even though I was certain that Will Traynor was likely going to die (it's never deterred me in the past). So the best friend and I agreed that when it came out, we would go see it.
Some basics about the story. Will Traynor was a successful businessman with a wonderful girlfriend and an all around wonderful life. As nearly 30 years old, on his way to work, he is hit by a motorcycle while crossing the street to catch a cab, and becomes a quadriplegic. Two years after the accident, his parents are looking to hire a companion for him.
Enter Louisa Clark, a spunky young woman who has her own crazy flair and zest for life. She interviews for the position and while it doesn't seem to go well, Mrs. Traynor decides to give her the job. The initial meeting between Will and Lou seems strained and a bit awkward, but Lou refuses to back down. Will continues to be kind a bit of a jerk towards her, and it's not until she stands up to him, speaking out against his behavior towards her, that he starts to soften, and the two eventually become friends.
What Louisa didn't know when she accepted the job is that she is, essentially, on suicide watch for Will. He had previously tried to end his life, and about a month before meeting Louisa he had given his parents 6 months before he was going to travel to Switzerland to a facility that provided assisted suicide. Louisa is devastated when she finds out, and considers quitting. Her sister, however, convinces her to stay and try to make Will's remaining time something worthwhile. Lou starts to view it as an opportunity to change Will's mind.
In the end, after all of her efforts to convince Will that he should live, he chooses to go through with his decision to end his life. He asks Louisa to come with him and his parents to Switzerland, and at first she utterly refuses. After a talk with her father, and some time to think about everything, she decides to go and be with Will for his last moments of life.
You can probably understand why there is so much conflict surrounding this story. I've heard/read arguments about how the fact that Will is disabled and suicidal will make people think that all disabled people are depressed and suicidal. That it was wrong for the his parents not to tell Louisa the truth about Will's desire for assisted suicide. That it "glorifies" or "romanticizes" suicide, etc., etc.
I can see how someone would come to these conclusions, and how this story could be viewed as such. But that's not what the story is about.
This story isn't about a disabled man who falls in love with a healthy woman, or vice versa. It's not about a disabled man who wants to die or the woman who wants to save him. Those are just things that happen in the story, factors that allow what the story is really about to be told.
This story is about love.
I know, I know, you're thinking, "Love? How can those things, those factors that are so appalling and disgusting to people possibly point to love?"
Allow me to make some points to ultimately prove what I am trying to say.
The most obvious point I can make to support my claim is Louisa's love for Will. First of all, she stays with him, in spite of his attitude towards her, and in spite of his wishes to die. Her determination to make him smile and to make him happy, before she ever finds out about his decision, shows that she felt a degree of love for him, even if it wasn't anything romantic at the start. She cares about him, loves him, and doesn't want him to end his life. She wants him to have more than just the limited life he believes himself to be confined to, and therefore does what she can to show him.
Will loves Louisa, regardless of the fact that he chooses to end his life. When Louisa stands up to him she goes on about how she doesn't care for his attitude, nor does she care about him, and that she is only doing the job because she needs the money. After hearing this, Will begins doing what he can to make Louisa's job a little more bearable, and that's what leads to their becoming friends and eventually falling in love. He didn't have to be nice to her. He could have just as easily continued behaving the same way towards her as he had before she chewed him out, but instead he chose to change. He cared about the fact that she was unhappy, felt his own degree of love for her, even though, again, it wasn't anything really romantic at first.
When Will finally confronts Louisa about his decision to die he tells her that he doesn't want her to be tied to him. He doesn't want her to settle for a lesser life because of him. He five months getting to know her, caring about her, and wanting her to become more than she was, to see the world and widen her horizons. That's part of the reason that he went along with some of her more ridiculous ideas. He knew from the beginning that nothing was going to change his mind, and he chose to make the last months of his life mean something. He chose to make a difference in Lou's life.
It may not seem like it, but you do see the love that Will's parents have for him. During an argument between Mr. and Mrs. Traynor regarding Will's decision, his mother argues that she loves him and doesn't want him to die. Mr. Traynor makes the same argument, but concedes that nothing is going to change Will's mind. He tells his wife that if they don't respect Will's wishes he will likely try to kill himself again, but they won't be there, and he will be alone. Allowing him to go through with the assisted suicide would allow him to go peacefully and give them the chance to be there with him. They would get to say goodbye.
The last point I would like to make is in regards to Louisa's decision to go to Switzerland and be with Will when he died. During the conversation Louisa had with her father, she went on about how she had failed. She had tried so hard to convince Will to change his mind and it didn't work. Her father looked at her seriously and asked, "Who said you failed?" He continued to tell her that Will had made up his mind long before he met Louisa, and there wasn't anything more that anyone could have done to change his mind. Louis asked her father what she was supposed to do, how she was supposed to deal with it all. He told her simply that she just needed to love him. After considering everything, she decides to go and be with him. Sometimes, your "happy ending" isn't what you expect it to be. If Louisa had chosen to stay away while Will was in Switzerland, she would have spent the rest of her life feeling awful about the last things she said to him, and she would never have gotten the closure she needed to move forward with her life.
Love isn't a perfect fairy tale. Sometimes you love someone with everything you have and you still end up with a broken heart. There isn't always a knight in shining armor, or a brave princess that saves her prince, or a beautiful wedding with bells ringing. There isn't always a "happily ever after". Love isn't the same for everyone, and it isn't shown in the same way by everyone. Sometimes, even after all you do, you can't help someone that doesn't want to be helped. But that should never, ever, stop you from loving them, and being there for them when they need you. And sometimes that's the most powerful kind of love you can offer.
If you made it through to the end of this post, I thank you for taking the time to listen/read my thoughts and opinions about this. I would like to end this post by saying that, while I really loved this movie, I understand that it isn't for everyone. And that's okay. I am not asking you, my reader, to accept the thoughts and opinions I have expressed, nor do I expect you to go see a film that you feel would not be satisfying. The choice is entirely yours. All I ask is that, should you choose to see this film, you set aside the generalization that it is about a disabled man who wishes to die and the woman who tries to save him, and look at the possibility that maybe, maybe, there is something more to it. Maybe you'll see what I see, maybe you'll see something different. Perhaps you won't see anything else at all. Just try to look beyond the top layers, dig deeper into the tale and the characters and really look at it all.
Thank you again for enduring through this rather long and opinionated post. Your readership is greatly appreciated!
