Cloudy Days

Today's post for Project #becauseimhappy:

Cloudy days make me happy! #becauseimhappy#nature #beautifulmorning

I don't know what it is about cloudy days that I find so...beautiful, refreshing, and just purely wonderful. Maybe it's because the sky seems so alive when the clouds are there, moving along slowly, just waiting to give us the moisture they are holding. They are majestic. Nature is majestic, and I am happy that I get to experience it.

Something about rain. My mom loved the rain. I remember days when I was a child where we would sit together on our porch and watch the lightning storms, enjoying the smell and feel of the coming rain. 

Since her passing, there have been several times when I felt my mom's love in the rain. While I was in Ephraim I blogged about such an experience. My first summer in West Jordan I was going through a rough time. One day, while out with my friends, it started to pour rain, and I had the thought that it was like a giant hug from her.

I hope you all have a happy day. And if your day isn't going so well, just find a small thing to be grateful for. It's the little things that can really make a huge difference in our lives. No joke.

Love you all!

Tender Mercy Tuesday (Yes, I know it's Wednesday)

I had every intention of posting yesterday for Tender Mercy Tuesday and I totally forgot. I know I posted for Project #becauseimhappy, but that doesn't count. I had considered skipping it, since it is now Wednesday and therefore "too late" for a Tuesday post. However, I decided that was not a reasonable excuse. Whether we recognize the Tender Mercies in our lives when they happen, or a day late, as long as we recognize them, it's all that matters.

This week's tender mercy happened last Friday, October 31. I was at work, waiting for L, one of the boys in my two year old class, to be picked up. Friday was L's last day in my class, as he is now three and has moved up to the older class.

Earlier that day, L was having a hard time with helping to clean up. So I asked him if he was going to be a Bumblebee (which is what we call the three's class) on Monday. After he answered in the affirmative, I then asked him to show me how a big Bumblebee would clean up. He hesitated for only a moment, but was quick to help after that. I was very proud of him.

It wasn't until later that I realized L had been sad when I asked if he would be a Bumblebee. Until last week, it was all talk. "Oh L, you're going to be a Bumblebee soon", "L, you are getting so big! Are you excited to be a Bumblebee soon?" It wasn't until Friday that an actual limit was placed on his time as a Ladybug. Knowing that it wasn't just talk, that it was actually going to happen, he seemed more hesitant about the idea.

Before L's mom picked him up, I was sitting with him on the ground outside. He looked at me and said, "Miss. Stephanie?"

Now, you have to understand, my Ladybug's don't always address me by my name. It's usually "teacher" or, for those who haven't learned the difference, "mama". So having L use my name caught my attention.

"Yes, L?" I replied.

"I love you."

It was a simple phrase, and one that he had said to me before, but this time it was different. It was as if he knew what was coming and wanted to give a "final testimonial" to me. I was really touched.

"Aw, I love you too, L."

And that was it. No further conversation, we just sat together quietly, enjoying the nice fall weather.

I am so grateful for my job. For all of the stress and the hard times, it has truly been a blessing in my life, and a sweet reminder of how much our Heavenly Father loves all of His children. Learning to care for an love kids that I have not had the privilege of bringing into this world myself, I can't imagine Heavenly Father not loving us, his very own.

Have an awesome week everyone!

Riding the Train and Weird Conversations

When I started thinking about my #becauseimhappy project, I was planning to just post the pictures and leave it at that, occasionally add some quotes. However, I decided today that I would write an actual blog post about the pictures I took, explain what it is about that particular thing that makes me happy.

This was yesterday's photo and the caption with it:

Riding the train to work with my dad makes me happy!#becauseimhappy #beautifulmorning

A little over a month ago my car broke down. As a result I started taking the the train to work with my dad. He has to be to work an hour before I do, but I preferred getting a ride to and from the station from him, rather than walking. Plus, it's nice to ride the train with my dad.

Granted, we don't always talk, sometimes we just sit in companionable silence, and there are days when we can't sit next to each other so conversation isn't possible, but it's nice to have the option, to know that I could talk to him if I needed to. Sometimes it really doesn't matter if you talk about important things, or even at all. It's having the ability to talk, having a chance to talk with each other that makes a difference. Because cutting out time in your day so that you can actually talk with the people you care about is important. 

Here's the photo from today and it's caption:

Weird conversations with my best friend make me happy. #becauseimhappy #itsgonabeagoodday #bff#loveit

I cannot tell you how many weird conversations I have had with my friends. They range anywhere from our favorite geekdoms to things happening in our every day lives, to random thoughts we have that just NEED to be shared. I've even had a religious conversation about fangirl feels (don't ask).

Like I said before, it doesn't matter what you talk about, or if you talk about. It's being able to talk and to spend time with the other person. It's giving your time and getting time from them, no matter how odd or unorthodox it may seem

I hope you are all doing well, and that you are having a very happy day!

Because I'm Happy

Last week I posted a picture on Instagram with the hashtag #becauseimhappy. This post sparked an idea in my mind for a personal project that I want to do.

Every day, for the next nine weeks, I will be posting a picture of something that makes me happy. Along with these photos I will include a thought about happiness to share with anyone who is interested.

Here is my first photo:

See that leaf? Know what it means? It's from the Ancestry.com website. It's telling me that there may be more documents and files pertaining to some of my ancestors.

My mom was very much into family history. I remember as a small child going to the Joseph Smith Memorial Building with my mom as she did genealogy. I mostly wanted to go so that i could soon around in the big computer chairs. As genealogy became available for use in the home, my mom would commandeer the computer every Sunday to do family history work. She would tell stories about my ancestors that she'd found, and I remember the feeling of curiosity about those people who have gone on before me.

After my mom passed away, no one in my family really did a lot of genealogy, or family history work. Every once in a while someone would find something, but that was the extent of it.

 In my final semester at Snow College, I decided to take the Institute's Family History class. For for months I would spend an hour, two days a week, at the Family History Center in Ephraim. During that time I would search out names and dates for my ancestors.

I learned that one of my ancestors lost his first son while living in England. After the death of their child, he and his wife moved to the United States. I felt a small twinge in my heart, wondering if these parents were ever able to go back to England and visit their son's grave. That twinge grew into a desire to locate exactly where he was buried, with the hope that one day I could go to his grave myself and pay my respects.

After reading my ancestor's personal history, I tried to search for the cemetery where his son was is buried. When my own searching did not provide any results, I reached out to some clergymen in England that I thought might be able to help me. They were able to forward my information to a gentleman who worked with the archives for the area, and, I'm happy to say, I was able to get the information I needed.

Ever since then, my interest in the stories and histories of my ancestors has grown. When I signed up for Ancestry.com, I had no idea the excitement I would feel as I found more and more information about my ancestors and their families.

So, there's my happy moment for today. We'll see what tomorrow has in store!

P.S. I encourage all who are interested to participate and create their own #becauseimhappy campaigns. Feel free to post how it's going. I'd be happy to hear about it!

Thoughts/Feels of a Fangirl

Friday 10/10 8:51 am

I have been waiting all summer for the Season Three Premiere of The CW's Arrow. I was not able to watch the episode the night it aired, so I am viewing it online. This post will document my thoughts/feelings/reactions (without spoilers, I promise).


5 minutes, 14 seconds into the episode...
Ahhhh! I love it! Diggle TOTALLY knows what's up! HE HE HE!!! And, and, OLICITY!!!!!!!!!!


9 minutes, 24 seconds in...
Felicity: It, is not work. It is a soul crushing exercise in misery that offers health and dental.
Oh how I love her!! What a perfect description for some jobs that I have worked (not my present job though. I love my job right now. :D )


10 minutes in...
OMG OMG OMG!!! He asked her!!! I mean, I saw the preview, and I knew he was going to ask her, but it's even better to actually see it, to see her reaction!!! AHHH!!!


11 minutes, 43 seconds
His smile! His cute little smile of excitement for his date!!! GAHHHHHH! I just can't even right now...
I'm going to need a bigger man blender... (long story that I will have to blog about later).


14 minutes, 23 seconds
Diggle: I'm terrified.
Aww!!!


14 minutes, 50 seconds
Love the entrance Oliver. Bravo, bravo!


15:03
Oh gosh, his face when he sees her. I just...GAH!
I wish a guy looked at me like that... :(
Focus, Stephanie. FOCUS


15:51
Felicity: And I've already seen you shirtless...multiple times...all the time...shirtless...
Oh wow Felicity. Just, WOW. :D


17:44
He remembered the pen! Oh my gosh, THE PEN!


20:10
Gosh dangit you losers! Why you gotta ruin a good thing, huh? JERKS!


21:41
Talk about beating yourself up...


30:58
Oliver, you little... ARGH!


32:01
He called him partner... *giggle*


32:40
NO! Oliver, you fracking idiot! That's the WRONG choice!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


36:24
You go girl!
Porcupine flatulence...heh heh heh... :D


39:27
AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!


39:51
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! 


End of the episode (the BIG thing)
I figured it would be that person.



Now on to Episode Two, as well as the first two episodes of The Flash.

Late Nights with Friends

I realize this Tender Mercy Tuesday post is a day late, and I apologize for not posting last week. I have programmed my phone to remind me to post each week. Hopefully that will help. :)

This week's tender mercy happened on Friday night. My sister and I invited two of our friends over to watch Woman in Black (that movie...freaking heck... Lol). Well, they didn't get to our house until later in the evening (around 8 or so), and when they showed up we started playing Charades on my phone, rather than watching the movie. Because of this, we didn't actually start watching the movie until after 11.

After watching the movie--and having my friends laugh at my commentary throughout the movie--we just sat and chatted about everything and nothing. We were all crazy tired, which made for some ridiculous comments and lots of laughing. Finally, at almost three in the morning, we decided to call it a night and ended our little get together.

I realize this may sound like a typical Friday night hang out, in which case you are probably wondering how in the heck I can view that as a tender mercy. The tender mercy lies in being able to hang out with friends on a Friday night. It's staying up late laughing until it hurts, and going to bed not having a care in the world because you're so high on that wonderful drug called happiness. It's being with people who make you feel like you belong, regardless of how different you might be. 

I am so grateful for my friends and the good times we have had. I look forward to all of the laughs to come. :) 

Thank God for Soldiers

I have been taking public transportation to work for the past two weeks due to my car being out of commission. I catch the train at a little past seven with my dad and ride it to the University. From there I take a bus the rest of the way, arriving anywhere from an hour to half an hour before my scheduled work time. 

Something you should know, I am not a morning person. Occasionally I get a random desire to be up ridiculously early on a Saturday morning, but usually I prefer sleeping in until at least eight. That being said, I have to say that I am grateful I was up early today.

On the bus that I take from the train station there has been an older gentleman that recently has caught my attention. Normally I wouldn't have given him a second thought--I am a twenty five year old looking for prospects after all--but the other day I was looking at him and noticed the hat he was wearing. It was a "Vietnam Veteran" hat. This man had served our country.

I felt the sudden desire to tell this man "Thank you" for his service. I didn't take the opportunity to do it yesterday, but this morning I finally pushed aside my fears and did it.

I waited until the seat beside him was empty before moving from my place in the back of the bus and sitting beside him. 

"Excuse me," I said. He looked at me. "I'm sorry to bother you. I just wanted to say thank you for your service."

He kind of shrugged it off at first in a "You don't have to thank me" kind of way. I remarked on how it takes courage to do something like that, and how two of my brothers served in the Army. He proceeded to tell me that he served with his brother also, however the two of them were on different ships.

Then he got serious, looked at me and said, "It wasn't fun."

The phrase was simple enough, yet it spoke volumes as I looked into his eyes. They were serious, sad, and haunted. 

"No," I replied. "I can't imagine it was."

After he left the bus, I recalled a poem that I read earlier this month for my Creative Writing class. I'd like to share it here (You can listen to the author read the poem here).

Facing It

By Yusef Komunyakaa

My black face fades,

hiding inside the black granite.

I said I wouldn't,

dammit: No tears.

I'm stone. I'm flesh.

My clouded reflection eyes me

like a bird of prey, the profile of night

slanted against morning. I turn

this way--the stone lets me go.

I turn that way--I'm inside

the Vietnam Veterans Memorial

again, depending on the light

to make a difference.

I go down the 58,022 names,

half-expecting to find

my own in letters like smoke.

I touch the name Andrew Johnson;

I see the booby trap's white flash.

Names shimmer on a woman's blouse

but when she walks away

the names stay on the wall.

Brushstrokes flash, a red bird's

wings cutting across my stare.

The sky. A plane in the sky.

A white vet's image floats

closer to me, then his pale eyes

look through mine. I'm a window.

He's lost his right arm

inside the stone. In the black mirror

a woman's trying to erase names:

No, she's brushing a boy's hair. 

I am truly grateful for the men and women who are willing to serve this country. I am grateful for their sacrifices. I am grateful for the men, women, and children who sacrifice the time of loved ones so that we can all benefit from their bravery. 

Thank God for Soldiers, and the ones they leave behind. 

To the soldiers that read this, and to their family and friends, I just want to say

Tender Mercy Tuesdays!

I've decided to start a new thing on my blog called Tender Mercy Tuesdays. Every Tuesday I will post about one tender mercy that I have experienced/noticed sometime during the week. I feel it is important for me to take notice of those tender mercies in my life more often than I have been.

Previously I would just post a comment on the Tender Mercies page that I included here. The problem with that, however, is that I am not keeping it at the forefront of my mind, therefore I am not actively looking for those tender mercies that the Lord is blessing me with.

I will keep the Tender Mercies tab active on this page. It's new purpose will be to allow people the chance to directly access my Tender Mercy Tuesday posts without having to scroll through everything. Not sure how well this will work out, but we'll give it a shot. :)

Being as it is Tuesday, I already have a Tender Mercy for you. Last week I had a rather troubling rejection from a guy. I won't bore you with the details because, honestly, I'm over it, but I will tell you that the incident caused me to wonder about any and every other rejection I've had in the past. I tried to recall the things I had done leading up to those rejections and it wasn't long before I found myself questioning my own self image. This questioning of myself led me to worry about ever pursuing a guy again. Maybe there was something wrong with me, something that just screamed for guys to run as fast and as far away as they possibly could. Maybe I'm not as great or whatever as I think I am.

Sunday morning I was still troubled by everything. I decided to do what I always do and write about it in my journal. My sister and I went to the re-dedication of the Ogden Utah Temple, and since we got there early, I was going to take the time to do it then. However, before I got very far into the entry it was time to start, so I put my journal away.

The service was amazing and remarkably uplifting, in spite of my previously downtrodden mood. It was a wonderful little pick me up, though I was still troubled in the back of my mind.
It was during one of the talks that I had a powerful thought which would change my entire outlook on the situation. I can't recall who the speaker was, but the thought was simply this: it doesn't matter. The rejection, my unfortunate single status, none of it really matters.

I was blown away. So many times in my life I've obsessed over things that upset me, things that were of no real importance when liking at the grand scheme of life. I would tell myself that it didn't matter, it wasn't important, but until that moment, sitting in a chapel, listening to the Lord's servants, it never really clicked.

Yesterday, while on the train to work, I was listening to OneRepublic's new CD Native. One song in particular really helped to emphasize the thoughts I'd had on Sunday during the rededication. The song is called I Lived, and it talks about living your life, regardless of what the world around you is doing or saying. It talks about taking chances and not being afraid to do so.

It was like Heavenly Father wad telling me to keep dreaming, to just enjoy my life and stop worrying about the fact that I'm single. Take advantage of it and just live life.
It was exactly what I needed.

I am so grateful for a Heavenly Father who is so aware of me and what I'm going through. I'm grateful for his love and his mercy towards even the most imperfect of souls.

Happy Tuesday everyone!

Meeting Stephen Amell

Written 09/06/2014

Right now I am on the verge of tears. Not because I am sad or angry, but because I had an incredible, once in a lifetime experience today. I don't know that words can truly express how awesome it was, but I will do my best.

This weekend (09/04 – 09/06) was the second annual Salt Lake Comic Con. I've been keeping up on who would be attending this awesome event (which, conveniently, is MUCH closer to my home than the San Diego Comic-Con). One day I received a Facebook notification from my friend Emma, stating that she shared an event with me. I checked it out and discovered the event was Stephen Amell's, the man who portrays Oliver Queen in The CW's Arrow television series, which we both love. The event? SALT LAKE COMIC CON.

I won't lie, I totally fangirl screamed when I saw it. I was determined that somehow, someway, I was going to Comic Con. Not only was I going, but I was going to see, in person, Stephen Amell.

Because of financial dilemmas and issues, I was not able to purchase my ticket as early as I would have liked. As Comic Con got closer, and ticket prices increased, I realized I wouldn't actually have the money to buy a ticket until after Comic Con. I was beginning to worry that I wouldn't be able to go at all. Then my amazing, beautiful baby sister told me that she would buy my ticket and I could pay her back with my next paycheck. She also spotted me some money for a Stephen Amell photo op.

While I was able to pay back the money to her, I don't know that I can ever really tell her just how much it meant to me. She made it possible for me to have this awesome experience, and I will always be grateful.

I made all of the necessary arrangements with work to have Thursday and Friday off, and my friends and I decided to stay at a hotel for Thursday and Friday nights. Yes, the Con was close enough that we could have just driven every day, but it was more convenient this way. Plus, we had loads of fun hanging out together!

This morning we made sure to take advantage of the early entry perk that came with our gold passes. We knew that Stephen Amell's panel would be at noon, however as there was another panel at 11, we planned to be ready for line up by 10:45 so we could get good seats. Then a wonderful volunteer informed us that we could attend the first panel and just stay in the room for Stephen's. We wasted no time finding seats.

The first panel was Simon Helberg from The Big Bang Theory. While I haven't really watched the show, it was fun listening to his stories and his thoughts about his characters. He also played in Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog, which I absolutely love.

When Simon Helberg's panel finished, Chris Provost, the official MC for Comic Con, said that people who wanted to ask Stephen Amell a question could begin lining up. I asked my friend Emma if she was going to ask a question but she decided not to. I thought of a question myself, and decided to line up.

It was about a ten minute wait after I got up there before they introduced Stephen Amell. Fortunately for me, I was on the side of the stage opposite from where he would enter, so I got to actually see him come on. I was freaking out inside. The thought of being that close was amazing to me (part of me is still questioning the reality of it!).

As the panel went on I realized there was a good chance I wouldn't get to ask my question. It wasn't anything really important, but I was kind of downtrodden by the fact that I wouldn't get much closer to him. Oh well, I thought, I'll see him at the photo op later.

After the last question was asked, Stephen invited the people who were still in line to come on stage and take a photo with him. I couldn't believe it. I was going to be on stage with Stephen Amell! I hurried over as quickly as I could without actually running and joined the other fans on stage. As we situated ourselves for the photo I made sure I was in the front because 1. I'm a short person and it would be hard to see me in the back. I wanted to be able to show people exactly where I was without them questioning it. 2. I wanted to get as close as I could.

Photo Emma took from her seat while I was on stage.

When the photo was done, Stephen thanked everyone on the stage individually. Some of them gave him a hug. When it was my turn I shook his hand and then walked away.

What are you doing!? My inner fangirl screamed. Turn around and give that man a HUG!

But I chickened out.

I met up with my friends back in the audience and screamed a bit. Yes, I even did that whole “This hand touched Stephen Amell” thing. Do not judge me. It was totally surreal.

We stayed for John Barrowman's panel (he is such a funny guy!) and then we headed straight for the photo ops booth. My friend Kayla was not able to join Emma and I on Friday for our photo op with Sam Witwer from the American Being Human television show, so we decided to do a second one with him today at 3:15pm. Right after finishing that photo op we attempted to get some lunch, however the lines were ridiculously long and we had a photo op with John Barrowman at 4:15.

For reasons I am unaware of, the photo op for John didn't actually start until about 4:45, which was kind of nice because we were all crazy hungry, so Emma held our spot in line while Kayla and I went to hurry and get food. By the time Kayla and I got back the line was moving and we weren't able to eat our food. We left our plates and our drinks on the personal belongings table and then hurried along into the booth with John.

Because of the late start we had to move fast, so when it was our turn Emma ran and slid across the floor to John's right side, making sure to give him a hug, while Kayla and I hurried to flank him on the left. The picture was awesome. :)

Our photo op with Stephen Amell was scheduled for 6:00, however, there was a scheduled photo op before Stephen's for an Arrow Team-Up (aka a picture with Stephen and John together). Kayla and I finished eating our food and then we made our way to the line for Stephen Amell. Actually it was the line waiting to line up for Stephen Amell, and we started out not being in the line, but a nice guy ahead of us found out where the line really was and told us (thank you Todd!).

The line was crazy long. It was after six, and Comic Con was scheduled to end at seven. We still hadn't been officially lined up. Again I found myself worried that I wouldn't get the chance to see him. Honestly, I thought I might cry if I didn't.

Eventually we made it to the official line and I felt a little better. I sent a text my older sister, who is also a fan of Arrow, and told her I was standing in line for the photo op.

Sister: Tell me how it goes!

Me: Will do!

It was about that time when someone came over the loud speaker and announced that Comic Con would be closing in half an hour. My dreams of the photo op were dying away, but I still clung to a small flicker of hope that they wouldn't kick us out at seven.

It was then that one of the girls working the line announced that “Stephen is going to be super nice and stay until everyone that wants a picture gets one.”

Oh my gosh! I was SOOOOO happy! Emma and I screamed and cheered at the news (Kayla decided to get a henna tattoo instead of do the photo op). A few minutes later another volunteer told us that Stephen would return to his booth on Celebrity Row after the photos to do autographs. Emma and I did not hesitate to make up our minds about going.

When it was our turn for the photo Emma and I came up to Stephen and said, “We love you!”

“Oh!” he said happily, a big grin on his face. I put my arms around him, as did Emma, and he put an arm around each of us. The photo was taken and we said thank you. He looked at Emma, said “Thank you” and then turned to me and did the same thing. I still have the image in my mind of looking up into those beautiful blue eyes... (excuse me while I wipe away the drool... ha ha ha).

Emma and I with Stephen

After leaving the booth we were so excited and filled with an adrenaline rush that we nearly forgot Emma's bag from the personal belongings table.

There was a girl standing in line behind us who said that while she doesn't normally do the whole “I've got to have a picture with you” for celebrities, Stephen Amell was the exception. Her parents took pity on her and bought her the photo op for her birthday. As we waited for our turns with Stephen she teared up a bit, and after her photo she was full on crying from joy.

I texted my sister as we were waiting to pick up our photos.

Me: Totally just felt his awesome abs and I am not ashamed.

Two minutes later, I got this response.

Sister: You are crazy! You know that right!!!

Me: So I've been told. Several times.

Emma and I grabbed our photo and then made our way to Stephen's booth. About halfway there we paused and did the stereotypical fangirl screaming while jumping up and down. Don't judge us.

We bought our autograph tickets along with some pre-printed photos of Stephen from Arrow—Emma chose one of him shirtless, I chose one of him in a suit—and then we proceeded to wait in line for him. When it was my turn for him to sign my photo I thanked him for staying and shook his hand again. 

My autographed picture

And that was that, the end of my awesome Stephen Amell day.

As we were leaving I told Emma and Kayla that I wanted to cry but my body was too tired. On the drive home I did tear up a bit. It wasn't until I got home, and began typing this, that I really got emotional.

I keep thinking about the events of today, how awesome it all was, and I think, Was it real? Did it actually happen? Or does my mind just have this incredibly over active imagination and it's going nuts right now? Then I look at the photo. Tears come to my eyes as I'm overcome with emotions, and I know it's not all in my head. It happened. I actually met Stephen Amell. I talked to him, shook his hand, and yes I touched his awesome Arrow abs.

What's even more amazing about today was how incredibly down to earth Stephen is. You could tell that he genuinely cares for and loves his fans. It was evident when he invited us onto the stage with him after the panel. It was evident when he was willing to stay longer for photo ops and autographs after already having a long trip getting here (he was in Canada yesterday, and then flew into Salt Lake for today's events). And I could see how genuine he is when he signed my photo.

Today was the greatest day ever. I thank God that I was able to go. It was truly an incredible experience that I am not likely to forget.

* * * * *

After writing the above entry, I found this on Stephen Amell's Facebook page.

This man is quickly moving up the ranks in my favorite actors list. He and Chris O'Donnell, who I have loved since I was in elementary school, are currently fighting for first place. Though I will admit, Stephen's winning just a teeny bit. ;)